you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
