tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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