Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize