They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
