oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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