Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just invented taco cereal.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
