she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
A+ Viking dick
Randomize
