can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
How's work?
Spinning.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
