I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
