i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Randomize
