Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
