Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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