btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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