she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I bet he comes in French.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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