I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
