I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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