Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
