You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
