just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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