whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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