Can Purell be used as lube?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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