i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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