There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
