I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
