i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
