i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize