the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
