i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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