is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
