there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize