People in love make me want to vomit
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
