oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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