I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
This is the high leading the old right now
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize