Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
