Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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