His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
