Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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