Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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