im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
