While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
