I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
