I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
