Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
