the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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