As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
