And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
