Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
