i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize