this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
