I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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