After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
