i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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