How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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