In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
