yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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