Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
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