On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
