Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
