after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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