I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
