Having a random hookup so left but love u
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
