My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
