Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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