He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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