Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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