Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
