Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
