just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
tonight lets celebrate not being married
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
