Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
