if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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