Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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